Im Proud of Us
by Hop Scotch And Bananas
Summary: Sam lost his brother and now he has to try and desl with the loss. “ No-no-no-no, i-i cant loose you!”


Supernatural belongs to the CW.

Rated: T

The sight was a painful one to see. Bobby Singer looked ahead of him to see the younger Winchester holding his lifeless older brother in his arms, unresponsive. Tears stained Sam's face. Sam didn't even try to control the intense sobs that wrecked his body. His throat burned at the intensity of the sobs, making his Adam-apple bob. He couldn't get a breath in, but he didn't care. Sam couldn't care, the only thing that would ease his shutters was a breath from his brother. But nothing would come, not even a gasp of dingy air.

The smell of blood flooded his senses enough that he didn't realize Bobby coming up behind him.

" Oh, Dean.." Bobby gasped.

The boy was covered in blood. His abdomen was pretty much shredded, and his face pale. Blood covered Sams arms and chest, but Bobby already knew it wasn't his. He felt his heart give out to the younger man. He lost his brother, his whole world. Bobby could remember when they were younger and would be dropped off at his place. The two were inseparable. Dean was the one to take care of Sam, not Bobby. He has already lost too much, in-fact, he's lost all of his family, blood related at least.

Sam continued to cry as Bobby came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Sam didn't react, just as if no one else was even there.

" It'll be okay son, it's gonna be alright..."

Bobby didn't think Sam would reply, but there came a small whisper.

" No, i'wont,"

It was barely even a few words, and sounded as if a four years old were to say it. That brought some nostalgia to the both of them. Dean was happy, they were all happy.

Bobby let the tears flow. This wasn't how he imagined Dean's life to end. He was too young. It was like he just lost a son. No parent should have to deal with their child dying before they do. It's just not how it works, but it happened, and there's nothing he can do about it.

He forced a breath to enter his lungs, but it came shuddered and hard. He had to pull it together, for Sam. He was gonna have harder time dealing.

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30 minutes earlier

"C'mon Dean, just a little farther," Sam panted as he hauled his older brother up the basement stairs. Well, tried to anyway.

The home being abandoned meant there was no hope for someone to come and help him, he was on his own to try and get his brother out. Even if he yelled on the top of his lungs, no one would hear his desperate screams.

But he was losing Dean, fast.

Dean's chest heaved against Sam.

" I-huh- Can't, Sam. Jus-t leave me," Dean got out.

"No, I can't lose you. You're not getting off this that easy!" Sam cried as he kept helping Dean forward. He lifted his legs even though they felt like lead, and he cried like a toddler. He couldn't care, he had to get Dean out and to a hospital. It wouldn't matter how he appeared as long as his brother would live a little longer.

But somewhere inside, he knew it was too late. He knew the moment the ghost flung Dean through the glass, he wouldn't make it out, at least not alive.

A shard penetrated into Dean's chest. Blood was pouring out of the wound, and he knew. But giving up was too easy considering all they've been through, and everyone who met them knew they never did things the easy way. He kept going, but Dean collapsed from exhaustion. Sam too fell to the floor knowing he wasn't getting out of here with his brother in tow. He was too tired, not even the extra adrenalin was helping. He lost this fight to a stupid ghost who still managed to roam free. The floor was cold, adding more goose bumps to Sam's skin. Dean too shivered from the coolness of the floor and from blood loss. He was dying, and he couldn't get help. Sam couldn't get him out of here by himself, and anyway, by the time they would get out it'd be too late.

Dean knew that Sam knew what was coming. He had to give Sam something to hold onto.

As he gasped for precious air, Dean grabbed Sams shirt and leaned in. He was lying in Sam's lap, just like Sam used to do to him. It seemed sickly funny to him how it was reversed at the very end.

Sam put more pressure on the wound on Dean's chest, even though it'd do nothing.

Through gasps, Dean managed to get words out.

" I-I ne-ed you t-to k-now s-s-something."

" Know what?" Sam said as one of his tears dropped off his nose and fell onto Deans bloodied shirt. It soaked it up with the rest of the blood.

" I-I'm proud-d of us," he smiled, then went limp.

Sam heaved and gasped," Oh, god. Dean! No-no, you can't leave me. I can't live without you, you need to know I love you. I didn't said I love you, not-not recently! You need to know!"

Tears were staining his red and puffy face. He couldn't breath, it's like all the air was suctioned out of the room, and he was just left to wither away to nothing. Air was coming out, but nothing could come in. Dean was like his other lung, he couldn't breath without it. He was hyperventilating, and nothing he did could stop it. He started to rock like a crazy psychopath in a mental institution. He put his forehead against Dean's. The skin on his brother's face had started to cool, and before he knew it Bobby was behind him.

" I lost him," He said quietly as Bobby sank down to the floor and engulfed both boys into a hug. Dead or not, he needed both.

They sat like that for a while before the room started to cool off as night was approaching. Bobby knew it was time to get up and leave. They had to give Dean a proper death. Sam knew that too, but wouldn't get up.

" Come on kid, we can't lye here all night. We got to get him out," Sam didn't say anything, but managed to nod. His legs were too weak to get himself up, so Bobby helped him up. He seemed really unsteady on his feat, but he was at least able to stand. All he wanted to do was sleep, or maybe wake up from this nightmare. But it wasn't just a sick dream, it was reality haunting him.

Now that the sobs that were attacking him before settled, he was able to see how exhausted he really was. Seeing as to how unsteady he was on his feat, he reached out to the wall he had previously been leaning against.

" You alright?" He could hear Bobby say.

" Y-Yeah, let's just go,"

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Through team work, they were able to maneuver Dean to the Impala. Just seeing the impala made Sam gasp. What would Dean have wanted with baby? He didn't trust him to drive her, and he was really freaked out to why he was calling the car a her. Dean has really rubbed off on him, like a mother to a son, a brother to a brother. He let out another sob as he walked over to the driver's side.

It didn't feel right, that was Dean's seat.

" Hold up kid, let me drive. There's no way you're in any shape to drive right now," Bobby said as he jogged over to Sam and took the keys. Sam obliged and went to the passenger side.

This was all my fault, we shouldn't have split up, never. Sam thought as he looked out of the window at the old house, slowly getting smaller and smaller as they drove away.

As well as Sam, Bobby too blamed himself for their fellow hunter's death. He was the one who told them to salt and burn this bastard.

Balls. He led them here. And not to mention this place was only 20 minutes from his own house. He made them come from another state, when he was right here. He was just being lazy, he had a habit of procrastinating.

He knew something was wrong when they took over four hours, and still weren't back at his place. It was just a simple salt and burn, but when has it ever been that simple? He raced in his truck, that nearly broke down, twice. If only I had gotten here a little sooner, he thought. Maybe the idjit's would be okay for once.

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The drive was held in silence. Dean's music wasn't playing at and unexepytable level, or him joining in on the noise, singing, laughing. There wasn't any yelling or tapping on the steering wheel. No AC/DC being heard from miles away, or maybe just the slight hum of yelling from when Dean farted and kept all the windows closed. If Sam were to even try to open his, Dean would lean over and block him, making the car swerve. Not even a smart remark from Dean could be heard when Sam put headphones in or cut the cheese himself. It was silent, and cold. Both of their minds filled with future scenarios of what they'd do when in need of another hunter, or brother. No more fights, no more wrestling, no more pretending to be gay in public, no more going under cover together, no more dutch ovens. No matter how annoying they were, Sam would still miss them, and his brother's grossness.

They made it to Bobby's house in record time. Sam got out first, and slammed the car door shut, Dean would've hit the back of his head for that. Bobby too got out rather quickly. Words didn't need to be asked when Sam started towards the woods. He was getting wood to burn Dean. Although Sam desperately wanted to bring Dean back, he already knew he wouldn't be able to. Death would make sure of it. They had a rather nasty conversation about it last time they met up. And anyway, he needed to burn off the steam that could almost be seen radiating off of him. He needed to do something, get moving.

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Sam let out a scream each time he hit a branch with the ax. Sweat was dripping off of his nose and forehead by the time he got half of the wood necessary. Bobby being concerned about what Sam would do, joined the boy. Together they got all the wood they needed in no time. Bobby went inside to get sheets to wrap Dean in while Sam grabbed his brother.

" I'm so sorry, Dean." He cried as he lifted his brother up, finding the strength. Dean's head lifelessly wobbled in Sam's arms, but ended up resting on Sam's chest. It was like when Dean would carry Sam when he was young. Sam would be in the car then find himself in his bed, it was like magic. But this was far from magic, this was like hell. Carrying your sibling to their final resting place was an awful feeling.

As they wrapped Dean in the white sheets that Bobby brought out, Sam looked up.

" We can't burn him," Sam blurted out.

" Well why not you idjit, we spent all that time cuttin' that wood?"

" He won't come back as a ghost or anything, Death decides where his soul will go, and it's not here. Plus I want to be able to come to his resting place, and not have his ashes fly up and land in my hair."

Sam smiled at the memory of Dean talking about his hair and the ashes.

"You know, it's really gross." Dean said folding his arms while watching the most recent death victim burn on a pile of sticks.

" What's gross," Sam asked sort of annoyed by his brother's guessing games.

" All the ashes of the people we burn just float everywhere after they burn. Wether it's from the smoke or wind. But just imagine someone's boob ash or something going on your mop of hair!" Dean laughed.

" Ew Dean!" Sam said while swooshing his hair around.

They both laughed, but Dean belted it out.

" Yeah, well just imagine you're outside and the wind comes and you wonder what all the dust hitting your face is. Or why there is dust on anything outside. Like your precious car, or jacket, or mouth for that matter."

That was Sam's way to get back at Dean.

" Well if it's a chick's boobs, then what's the problem?"

" Well what if it's an old guys' ass?" Sam snorted.

" Ahh, you find just how to ruin everything don't you?"

" Well when people get their ashes spread out around the woods or ponds or lake or whatever, it's kind of gross. Little kids don't know that when they drink lake water, they're drinking some old lady's breasts or something,"

" Ugh, you're gross, let's go," Dean said as he walked away looking disgusted. Now it was Sam's turn to laugh hysterically.

" You laugh now," Dean continued," But it is beautiful in a way, that's pretty much what happened to mom,"

" Yeah, let's go though. My hair can't take much more of this,"

That was one of his favorite memories with Dean. Although he was annoyed at some points, it was funny to look back at and see how much they've been through.

" He have to bury him, here," Sam said.

" Alright, go do it at the woods line outback, I'll help bring him over. I'm too old to be digging like a maniac." Bobby grunted. Sam was glad to see Bobby acting like himself. God knows he won't for a very long time. God wasn't on his favorites list for all he has done either. Leaving every man, woman, and child to fend for themselves. He's not what he told us he was.

It took about two more hours for them to get the hole dug, and Dean laid down inside. Bobby had made himself a coffin for when someone came to his house and found him dead at his grand old age.

At that time it was like a joke, but sort of not. He didn't want to just decompose and be eaten by worms, then the chickens eat the worms, then people eat the chicken. They would be eating his bodies' dead nutrients.

So in other words, he had a coffin lying around, and Dean gets to have it. There was symbols on it to keep evil away. It would honestly do nothing, but it was reassuring to his two family members that stood around the hole in the ground.

No words were said in the moment, it just didn't feel like the right time. They were tired and wet.

" You mind?" Sam said quietly.

" No, come in when you're ready. But come in soon, I don't want you getting a cold out here in the rain,"

No, because that was really what Sam was worried about. He still had to rebury the coffin.

Rain came pouring down, but in a peaceful way. It was cold, but it helped keep him cool as he started to cover the coffin down below with dirt. It slowly became covered, and Sam started to go at it more viciously.

" I'm sorry, I-I can't! We were supposed to go out together. You and me! You weren't supposed to check out on me yet, no! No-no-no not yet!" Sam yelled as he threw the shovel at a nearby tree. Good thing he finished covering the grave before he broke down. He dropped to his knees and grabbed his drenched hair in his fists. He screamed, but couldn't he heard by anyone through the rain. He sat there crying for a few more minutes before he got up and walking through Bobby's back door.

Since he was covered in mud, he went upstairs to take a shower. By the time he realized there was no one to fight for the shower with, Bobby came upstairs to see Sam.

" Listen boy, I know you're hurting, I'm hurting too, but you need to stay with me, you hear. No running off, or doing something reckless. I can't loose another man, you understand?" Bobby said while poking Sam's wet chest with his finger. He seemed stern, talking about Sam being another man. But he was more like a son, and so was Dean. He raised the boys when John didn't show, he went to school plays and sport games. He was second dad almost. But in this moment he found it hard to act fatherly when he lost one of the closest people to his heart. He was in pain, and this was the only way he could keep it together. He had to act fine, pretend to be fine.

Sam nodded, and Bobby hugged him. Although he was wet and uncomfortable, he embraced the touch.

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The hot water felt amazing against his skin. It made him feel the real extent to his exhaustion. He barely made it out of the shower and dressed before he fell asleep on Dean's bed. His brother's scent was what he fell asleep to. The feeling of warmth and safety.

TBC...

Please review, heheheh. Sorry for typos or mistakes️


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